This is worrying!
I think I've forgotten
how to..
SLEEP!

Labels: Random, Sick, Sleep, Whinings

1:04 PM

It doesnt pay good to be kind yeh?


I'm so tired, so disappointed and alienated over this episode. Bye

Labels: Whinings

2:10 AM

When will they quit asking me to look for a job?

Labels: Whinings

12:30 AM

I feel like dying can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My throat hurts like mad =(

Labels: Sick, Whinings

11:45 PM

No one ever saw me like you do
All the things that I could add up to
I never knew just what a smile was worth
But your eyes say everything without a single word
Cause there is something in the way you look at me
It is as if my heart knows you are the missing piece
You make me believe that there is nothing in this world I can't be
I don't know how or why i feel different in your eyes
All I now is that it happens everytime



Let the bumps/lumps/swellings/pain on my neck goes away even though I feel so much better after yesterday! Let my body reform too! I wanna a power up!

I feel so grumpy so irritated so annoyed so anger today =(

Labels: Sick, Whinings

6:40 PM

I didnt fancy studying, even though I think I'll be pretty much worse off facing the real world

Regardless how much love I have for campus life, I absolutely hate examinations

I absolutely loathe exams. I freak out when I’m thrusted with chunks and chunks of text and helplessly stare at stacks of books and notes and use up tonnes of highlighters and foolscap paper. Exams are not entirely about memorising and re-puking everything but when you’re like me and do not have time to comprehend at the 11th hour, better pray that you can remember what you just read the previous nights

I had loads of exam luck previously. Yeh, I got the distinctions that I aimed for (very few but still have lah!) and I scrapped through the gates of terror sometimes (phew~ lucky eh) to allow me to get to where I'm today

I read, I studied, I understand - Everything from the notes, examiner's report and tutorials (skip a couple of unimportant chapters). From being so lost and know nothing in Corporate Finance (CF) to understanding and knowing majority of it, I was still quite confident of scoring well, even before the paper as I was quite prepared!

However, the paper was a terror, it literally torn me into pieces; left me so speechless. It was totally unexpected and I was so lost in reading the questions. It was already game over from the start. I so had the urge to stand up and leave the examination hall straight but due to the strict rules, I'm not allowed to

I dumped whatever I know, I remember onto the paper. It was my last resort, I was at end wits. After attempting all the four questions, which I left out some parts here and there, I left

The long road to the Mrt station from Expo hall seems endless. I walked and walked, feeling soooooo dazed, yet trying to seek some comfort from the people around me, who were too strolling out. Way out was really peaceful, I felt cool bout leaving and probably too numb to feel anything at that moment. Tears only welled up when I was a Changi Airport when I recieved a call (eh. I went the other way as I have to wait for 8 bloody minutes for the train to Tanah Merah)

I think I'm pretty screwed for the papers, a very high chance for another campus life next year unless something happens to the scripts (low possiblity)

Whateveeeeer. Come September, everyone will be enlighten

Labels: Whinings

2:59 AM

I very want to give up despite all the encouragements =(



The breathing intensify
And unknowingly, tears welled up
I feel weak

Labels: Whinings

8:44 PM

This is what you do if there's thunderstorm in the middle of the night and when majority were sound asleep..


10052008 0349hours

Today, it really feels like the lightning had struck me, tearing me into pieces. I just feel like running away, away to a place where there's nobody and I can cry my heart out


I've been quite defensive of myself all these while
I dun actually say what I really feel sometimes
I feel that I cant trust anyone (Not that I dun trust my friends)
I dun want to tell anyone my problems, dun want to share my inner feelings,
In fear of being a victim of my own emotions..

Again and again it has slipped away quietly because I couldnt give it my complete trust. All I can do is to laugh and forget about it and it looks like it's going to happen again..

Till my emotions get the better of me, I fell into the friend's shoulders and let everything out. For that moment, I dun need to hide myself. I'm getting used to this comfort level, the trust we have. Sorry to make you so worry and anxious, wetting your shirt and hands

Thanks

Labels: Lightning Pictorial, Whinings

1:33 AM

I'm neither in the exam mood nor have been in like a frantic mugging mood for the last couple of days. Actually, it doesnt really matter. Sometimes, you get so disillusioned with the world that exams just become another insignificant passing phase that makes no sense and no meaning

Dun someone out there agree with me?


Sidetrack:
This afternoon despite a crazily hot one was kinda relaxing and interesting. heh

Labels: Whinings

1:14 AM

I feel like I'm in a mess now. I dunno what am I doing sometimes and I dunno why am I so easily affected these days. May be it's the exam stress, probably, it's the lack of sleep. It's so hard to get into a well-deserved deep sleep recently. After rolling on the bed for a couple of hours, I'm still wide awake. I think I'm not relaxed enough even though my bones were breaking and on the verge of shattering, eyelids were heavy yet my mind was still very alert. It's getting on my nerve

Things are really getting out of hands. Ended up, I've got a serious moodswing and being an ass at times. Sorry for my bad temper:

- Giving attitude so abruptly
- Flaring up without reasons
- Doing things that are irritating and annoying
- Being fierce so suddenly
- Being very stubborn and demanding

Hurting you(s) as a result. Thanks for being so tolerance, forgiving, understanding, caring and loving

Labels: Whinings

11:42 PM

I dun see why my brother gets to eat the chicken cutlets while I have to eat the chicken feets!

_|_

Labels: Whinings

6:23 PM

Tell me how to study in this kinda weather! It's so tempting to.. YAWNS!

I just feel like snuggling and curling up in bed. Like in a coma, my head pressed against the pillow, the blanket draped over me and a bolster wedged between my arms and legs. And continue to sleep like a log..

Labels: Skies Pictorial, Whinings

5:06 PM

I feel so alienated from this place. Why do the people I see almost everyday or rather I associated with as family feel like strangers to me?


This unexplainable thoughts..
Has been exercised for quite awhile
And getting lashed in the middle of the night abruptly..
Further justified everything

Labels: Whinings

1:52 AM

The last couple of days have been a fantasy. Deeply etched. Though in truth, it is seen as escaping from reality, it has been good, gratified and delightful. Had a pleasant and splendid time. Company is precious which makes the trip exceptionally satisfying =)


Because one feels alienated from the everyday routines , they'll want to get away from the profane life and goes into travelling, which is deemed as the sacred - LWQ

Nevertheless, I still wanna run-away. Back to earth is like meeting a dementor. It sucks

Crap!

Labels: Holidays, Whinings

10:36 PM

Alright. I know this is a total bewilderment and I've mentioned to some people and the response I had recieved was laughters and more laughters. Nobody cares me =(

Bleaaaaaaaah!

On this unfateful night, while I was descending from the escalator from JE, an anonymous and unperceived object flew into my right eye. The impact was so great that I had to shut my eyes all the way to the interchange. By then, I could hardly open my eyes still. When I tried to open it, it's always blinking and I saw part of my eyes were red. Throughout the whole journey back, I had to cover my eyes with my hands

I washed and cleansed it. It felt so much better than before, just that I could feel that there's something poking and pricking somehow. I tried looking for any foreign particle but it was nowhere to be found. So I thought I may be too tired and that explained why my eyes were hurting and assured myself tomorrow will be better

To my horror, the next morning, the redness did not subside and I was still very much in pain. I decided to consult a doctor. Out of curiosity, I went on to explore and saw a tiny black particle at the side of my eye. I thought it could be easily removed and tried to be a hero but it got worse. That foreign particle went deep under my upper eyelid

Left with no choice, I had to see the doctor. But that dodo doctor couldnt find anything and gave me the impression as thou he's making excuses to sent me off briskly. My friend (She went in with me as I was scared) insisted on the annoynous object and she showed him and there he flipped up my entire eyelid and the friend exclaimed 'WOAH' Soooooo big and long!'

Goodness!

I was then told to wait outside the nursing room for my treatment. There, lying on the clinical bed, with my heart thropping like there's no tomorrow and the uncertainties and unforseen circumstances, it definitely wasnt an enjoyment. The worst scenario was that I thought I was going blind

Then, the arrival of the big-sized doctor. He was so clumsy, to think he would tear the gloves or maybe the gloves were too tight for him. hahah. I saw him holding a cotton bud, dripping into some solutions and with his big fat hand nearing me, my heart was in my mouth. So wanna jump out of bed and run away. He used his right hand to pry open my eyes and his left to hold the bud and poke into my eyes

FFFFFFFfing painful I tell you. And I started to tear. He then anaethesized my injured eyes and continue poking, trying to take out the particle. After a series of poking and prying open my eyes, he finally got it out. After examing, he said it was an insect. He showed me and I saw two black particles which I assumed it's the head and the body -_-

And you think I'm kidding you..









Asked if how I kill an insect?

With a blink of eyes. heh


After the insect incident, it was the bird or rather pigeons. Pure luck? Shall murder them all!

Labels: Whinings

10:30 PM

Period is f.shit.

And with the usuals, it's like having an old body in me




Can I've youuuu by my side?

Labels: Whinings

10:28 PM

The wish for a standstill in time..
For as this moment
His heart is still throbbing

Inconsolable heart..
Everyone's broken


A sweet misery to end this wonderful afternoon?
Or rather a bitter-sweet afternoon..

Labels: Whinings

5:36 PM

The weather is madness. It's raining cats and dogs outside now very suddenly. Thunder is roaring like there's no tomorrow. Even the inside 'me' is raining.. There's this undefined emo shit which has been living deep down in me for quite long; that I feel so lost and helpless

And it doesnt help when school's a bitch especially when it's f.frustrating when you couldnt catch a single in this particular lecture! The somewhat-you-know-yet-you-dun-understand feeling. It's getting really crappy and I'm very very much affected



《抓狂》
曲 : 怪獸 詞 : 阿信

很不爽 我很不爽 不要让我更不爽
快抓狂 我快抓狂 不要搞不清状况

我要飞 而你却像 埋葬梦想的高墙
我要跳 而你却像 地心引力的蛮强

是你让大气缺氧 是你把天堂弄脏
是你把地球变成我的战场
快抓狂 快抓狂！

是火药装满心脏 是血管装满岩浆
呼吸也不能呼吸呼吸呼吸
快抓狂 快抓狂！

要怎样 不然你想要怎样 要怎样 我们现在就明讲
谁怕谁 看谁先让谁投降 谁怕谁 谁叫你要让我 抓狂

恨是火 愤怒是钢 我是沸腾的胆量
为什麼 要生存在 天使坠落的地方

很不爽 我很不爽 不要让我更不爽
快抓狂 我快抓狂 不要搞不清状况

Labels: Whinings

12:31 AM

I like walking in the rain
Dancing in the rain
Playing in the rain
And may be..
Kissing in the rain

After watching today's Romantic Princess, it re-ignited the longings I wish to embrace. hahah. Feeling quite nostaglic afterthat and the male lead in the show was sooooooooooooooooo handsome and cute for me to die for. hahahah

To conclude, rain does add some kinds of joy. Yet on the other hand..

IT IS BLOODY NOT FUN WHEN YOU HAVE TONS OF CLOTHES WAITING TO BE BROUGHT OUT OF THE HOUSE TO SUN!

Labels: Whinings

2:37 PM

Seriously,
Need to get some proper rest
Some food
Some air to breathe
And stop the mind games, will you?


I'm twisting like a tornado. So tired of the game; plunging down, real fast real hard

Labels: Whinings

1:05 AM

18th.may.1986
Love JieLun*
Lazy, Dreamy, Beach

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